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de-ni-al

If you looked up the definition of denial you would see the description "disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing."  At this moment, you would also see a picture of me.  I have been in full denial about an injury to my back that happened during a run last Denial weekend.  With one step, I went from great run to great pain.   

But all week, I just kept thinking "I am not injured.  Really.  Just because...":

  • I tracked down a doctor last weekend because I didn't think I could take my back pain until Monday, or
  • Had 5 doctor appointments to get relief
  • Took muscle relaxants, prescription anti-inflammatories and a pain relievers like candy corn
  • I couldn't go to work one day because of the pain
  • I started sleeping with icepacks on my back
  • I didn't see anything wrong with stuffing an icepack down my shirt/pants at work during meetings
  • I started using my seat heater in my car as the heat portion of ice-heat-ice, or
  • I didn't post about it in any shape or form  (I post about pee, stinky shoes, and my weight...obviously there isn't much of a filter from my mind to the 'Post' button.  But I couldn't bear to admit I was in-fact injured).

"Nope, just circumstantial and coincidence - I will be fine."

Looking back, I realize I had momentarily lost my mind.  Not because I kept running - heck no, I didn't run a step - but crazy because I just wouldn't acknowledge the obvious and realize that running might be out of my near term plans.   

You see, I have a duathlon (5K run, 20K bike, 5K run) on Sunday.  I talked my husband into this race.  He took off work, has rearranged his own training schedule to do it with me - which is quite a treat - and here I am unable to run a step.  This isn't happening!  I can't leave him out there to do it by himself. 

I found myself pulling a complete Brady Bunch moment the last two nights.  Do you Brady_bunchknow  the episode when Carol (the mom) loses her voice and she is supposed to sing at Christmas mass?  And all the kids are making wishes and she is doing her little prayers and then she wakes up that morning and can sing.  Yep, I found myself - probably through the help of ample prescriptions - praying like Carol Brady and hoping that I would awake healed in the morning.  And there was a part of me that believes it just might happen.

And it has, kinda.  I did a mile on the treadmill on Friday and am still alive to talk about it.  So I am going to give 'er a shot. I am strapping on the spandex bike shorts and painting my nails red. I will try the run and if that doesn't work, I will stop.  But, if I am lucky, I will keep going to the bike.  If I make it through the bike, I will try the other run.  Unlike other races, it really doesn't matter if I finish.  This one is about staying out of pain and cheering on my husband - I just hope I don't do it from the spectator area. 

One more sleep until the big day - let's hope for a little miracle!  Brady power activate...oh wait, that was the Wonder Twins.

Picture of book by clintosleep

Brady Bunch picture by ktelqueen

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Comments

Nancy

Oh Amy, I am SO sorry to hear this. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to have a shot at it, but be careful and take it easy. I can't even think of any other advice... maybe through in some ACTUAL candy corn with all the meds you are popping LIKE candy corn. I'll be thinking about you.

Nancy

Kent A

I am sorry to hear about your back. That is the one thing I have been praying about that my knee would not go out in the midst of training. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. If you are doing the D.O.athlon for Life, I'll be there as an EMS person. Good luck, and I hope both of you do as well as your last one!

Jamie

That stinks about your back, I'm so sorry. Best of luck in the duathlon but don't push it. You don't want to more damage. Take care of yourself!

Amy

Thanks guys!

Kent - that is so reassuring! You can't miss me, I am the slow fat girl in the spandex with bright red nails. :} Followed by a husband who is a bit nervous about doing this race. I hope we meet but I don't need your services.

Amy

PS...Nancy...I just finished my first round of carbo loading with candy corn. $1.88 buys ALOT of that stuff.

Margo

Amy -
Good luck in your race!! Being injured is never fun; running injured just sucks! Never thought of using the car seat-heater as the heat part of therapy - aha! Love it!

Nic

Being a chiropractor and all, you probably know this is coming, but get it checked out by a DC! We're specialists in backs, and a couple adjustments may do you wonders! If you need help finding one, or have any questions, please let me know. I'll help in any way I can!
Nic

Lisa

Glad your back seems to be cooperating. I have faith that you'll finish well.

Nic

I'm glad it's improving! I love my job. Thanks for stopping by.

Database Diva

Oh Amy, sometimes time is really not on our side! There is never a good time to be hurt, but before the big race the worst. I've showed up injured at the starting line for two marathons, and neither one turned out well. OK, one became a funny story, but only because I left out all references to the pain!

I think it is so great that you are doing this event with your husband. I hope it turns out OK for you!

Angela Maiers

Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your back. You have worked so hard, and I hear and understand your frustration. I am just a few weeks out from my race, and I am in bed with bronchitous. You have been an inspiration to me as a runner, and you continue to do so now. I am sending thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery.

Angela Maiers

Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your back. You have worked so hard, and I hear and understand your frustration. I am just a few weeks out from my race, and I am in bed with bronchitous. You have been an inspiration to me as a runner, and you continue to do so now. I am sending thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery.

Amy

Thanks again for your well wishes. I took them all with me today for the race and it really made a difference.

Angela - I hope you are feeling better soon! Still plenty time to heal for the 1/2 Marathon - take it easy.

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