Open Mic Friday: Meet Viper

By night he drinks heavily.  During the day he—well he drinks again and waits for the night to continue drinking heavily. 

This week's guest is Viper, a self-described marathon runner and marathon drinker.  Not your traditional running or fitness figurehead,  he's always advancing the mission of BHI, Booze Hounds Inc. 

He shrouds his actual identity in mystery, but he took some time away from running and drinking to share a bit about himself with Runners' Lounge.

Welcome Viper!

What's the story behind your the Viper name?

The Viper was born in a used record store many years ago. He was quiet, but when he spoke, his words were quick and often deadly. The name was bestowed, and it has stuck, and it has spread. I'm pretty legendary. 

We see you've run several marathons in the past few weeks?  What's the story behind that?

Yes, if two counts as several. I ran the Akron Marathon on Sept. 27 and the Towpath Marathon last weekend. There's no story really as to why. I was hoping to break four hours at Akron and didn't. As my grandma always said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. And if you still don't succeed, have a stiff drink and forget about it."

Team BHI seems very friendly yet serious about its purpose.  Tell us about some of the more memorable Team BHI times.

Friendly? Who gave you that idea? We -- and when I say "we," I mean "I" -- we're like that friend who gets you into trouble. We're double dog daring you to do something really stupid every day. We summon your inner donkey. And we're going to heckle you any chance we get.

But Serious? Yes, we are quite serious. And quite thirsty.

Now, let me regale you with the story of the moment I decided to run a marathon. The Akron Marathon route travels along the road on which I live. My not-a-figment-of-my-imagination friend Martini was running the race in 2006, and a few of us were spectating, which was really just an excuse to get up in the morning and drink adult beverages and scream at people we didn't know.

I had recently been to Pittspuke and brought back a case of Yuengling Porter (which you can't get in Ohio for some absurd reason) and was happily sipping from a bottle as all the marathoners passed by in the drizzling rain. Lo and behold, a stoopy, old woman appeared and ran by our raucous group. And then she spotted me. And my Yuengling Porter.

The woman turned around and trotted up to me. "Can I have a sip of that?" she said. Of course, I said yes. I knew at that moment, that I wanted to be her. I don't mean like with a surgical procedure or anything, but I so wanted a beer after running 23 miles. This year, thanks to my friends, I got it.

How did you develop your passion for running and fitness?

I use running to counter balance the awful things I do my body. I enjoy booze (shocker, I know) and I'm a consummate eater. Running helps me offset the beer, whiskey, red meat, dessert and whatever else crosses my lips that some deem unhealthy.

I had tried running a few times in the past, but like a bad organ transplant it never took. It wasn't until a few years ago, after I had quit smoking for good and was feeling hemmed in by the seasonal affectation disorder that is winter in Northeast Ohio that I finally stayed with running.

I rammed my feet into an old pair of cross trainers, curling my toes curled into the toe box, and I went out into the frigid March morning before work one day. And then I did it again. And I kept doing it until those shoes gave me shin splints. I was really committed when I had to spend money on fancy shoes. And then I decided I wanted to enter a race.

That's what really did me in. The first step is admitting addiction, right? Yes, I have a problem.

What have you not done with your running that you're still looking forward to?

I have yet to break four hours at the marathon. I'm still looking to get under 50 minutes for the 10-K. Beyond that, I'm considering ultramarathons and competitive pub crawls. 

What gets you excited about running?

Running gets me excited about running. It is equal parts therapist and fountain of youth. 

What's the best part of running where you live?

The variety of scenery. I'm a five-minute drive from some very nice parks, and from my front door I can hit neighborhoods that vary from working class to the very wealthy, or I can run to more urban areas.   

Favorite race?

Though it is my nemesis, I love the Akron Marathon. It is a tough race, and I have yet to solve it, which keeps me coming back. The city supports it very well with raucous spectators. It is very well organized. I love the finish inside Canal Park, the stadium for the Akron Aeros, a AA minor league baseball team. And I love that Brooks has become one of the main sponsors and gives away free shoes to marathon finishers. 

Best running advice you'd like to share?

Make sure you celebrate your achievements.

And for my fellow drinkers, make sure those celebrations include good beer.

Run well and drink well.

Cheers,

Viper

Comments

[Nitmos]

He is the main reason I don't visit Akron. That and there's really no other reason to be there.

[Vanilla]

Yeah, I would have guessed that you wanted to be a woman.

[Database Diva]

I know I'm not the stooped old lady, because I've never been to Ohio. I have been to New Orleans, and you can get beer there at mile 8, and again at mile 20. The mile 20 beer is served by men in red dresses. You can tell they are men because the mile 8 beer has long since worn off...

A word of caution. Fly down early on Friday so you can visit Bourbon Street on Friday night. While I firmly believe that running is the ultimate hangover cure, if Cajun food is involved, you'll be running from portable to portable, and frankly, they are too far apart.

http://seedivarun.com/blog/mardi-gras-marathon-2008
http://seedivarun.com/blog/mardi-gras-marathon-2007

[Xenia]

I second Vanilla's statement.

Also, I seriously doubt you were ever considered quiet.

[GQ Heisenberg]

In Philadelphia, Yuengling is a much-maligned beer, because it is a local one and pretty inexpensive. But I have always thought it a not-bad beer. Even the lager is pretty full-bodied compared to a lot of lagers.

I'd choose Yuengling before Heineken - I p*ss darker than Heineken - but mostly these days I only drink the beer that I brew myself.

Reason: I'm cheap.

My running shoes are made fron the tread of old tires, too.